


A Moral Dilema

by Alicein1derland



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Non-graphic student/teacher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-24 06:33:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/631481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alicein1derland/pseuds/Alicein1derland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn is a child genius turned high school Philosophy teacher. When he teaches Harry Styles, they form an immediate bond. How will the philosophical beliefs they know impact their growing yet forbidden relationship?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Moral Dilema

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea I put out a while ago and people voted for it to be Zarry. Since Ziall came a close second, there is a little bit of it in there too. 
> 
> Please note: all the Philosophy stuff in here is correct by the QCE/HSC standards. I in no way claim to be an expert, nor do I endorse student/teacher relations. Also, "dilema" is deliberately misspelt throughout this fic as a personal joke.

It was wrong, I knew it. What I was doing was so terribly wrong. But when I was with him, talking about everything and anything, it felt so right. Little voices formed in the back of my mind, asking me why something that made me and him so happy was considered so fundamentally wrong. “It’s wrong,” I would whisper after every interaction, trying to drown them out, but one voice with a warm Cheshire accent cut through my barriers and kept asking the same question.

“Why?”

***

I lay my papers on my desk and pulled out a few whiteboard markers from the shiny purple pencil case that had been presented to me as a token of good luck by my sisters. From the colour and the £1 price tag still attached, I could tell it was a joke present, but the hugs that accompanied it meant the world to me. I often felt awkward around my sisters and cousins. I didn’t think it was fair that important milestones in their lives had been overshadowed by “clever little Zayn starting his A levels at the age of 13” or “teenage genius Zayn completing his undergraduate degree at 16”. That guilt was a deciding factor in me turning down offers to work in astrophysics or biomechanical engineering in favour of an education degree with a major in Philosophy. It was a decision that had shocked my family and I could understand why. Working with professors as equally introverted as I am in isolated laboratories seemed a lot less daunting than dealing with the class of 16 and 17 year olds who congregated outside the classroom, waiting to be let in. After many squabbles over the dinner table, I managed to reach a compromise with my family and the university I studied at. I would teach three classes at Holmes Chapel Secondary (a year 12 Philosophy class and two year 10 English Literature classes) while completing further study in the field of Ethics part time through correspondence. At 19, I was only a few years older than my students, a thought I tried to push out of my mind as I opened the door.

“Come in, sorry for keeping you waiting. Find a seat anywhere.”

Raising the eyebrows of a few students, I hopped up onto my desk and sat cross-legged, nearly knocking over my cup of tea in the process. From my position, I observed the class finding their seats. From the depressingly large number of hours I had spent in academic institutions, I had become quite adept at making judgments on people based of where they chose to sit. The enthusiastic ones, like the blonde boy with braces and his puppy-eyed companion, sat at the front on the room, eagerly unpacking their bags to reveal fresh notebooks. They would be the ones who would hand their assignments in early, even if it got them no extra credit. Others chose to sit on the sides of the room and proceeded to stare at the unattractive, gum ridden wooden desktops. Making note of their body language, I honestly doubted whether they would open their mouths at all this term unless asked a direct question. I was ok with that. Some people work best from just observing rather that participating.

At the back of the room, a flock of girls had settled themselves around two boys, one with feather hair and a tan that screamed “I spent all summer at the beach” and another with curly hair and green eyes that were bright enough to be visible across the room. Curly was gazing at the girls in an unimpressed fashion, while his friend was lapping up the female attention. Those two would be the hardest nuts to crack, I decided. They were the cool ones. But if I could gain their respect, I knew handling the class for the rest of the school year would be a breeze.

Once everyone had found seats, I called the class to order and introduced myself.

“Hi, I’m Mr Malik. That’s M-A-L-I-K, if you need to write that down. So from what I gather, this is the first year Philosophy has been offered as an A level. Am I right?”

A few people murmured affirmatively while others nodded.

“Good, a fresh slate. This is exciting. You have the dubious honour of being my first ever class. I’m 19, for those who are wondering. Yes, I did see your looks as you entered the room a few minutes ago. Believe it or not, I am actually qualified to teach, so don’t worry about that.”

Awkward, forced laughs radiated from some of the front row students, but the majority looked unimpressed. Feeling anxiety set in, I decided to try and get to know my class better.

“So, we’re going to go around the class and I want you to tell me your name and why you chose Philosophy. What made you tick that little box before heading off to summer? Let’s start with you.”

The two boys at the front who I had noticed before introduced themselves as Niall and Liam. Both gave short speeches on their reasons for selecting Philosophy over other courses. The people in the middle and too the sides either muttered pale imitations of Niall and Liam’s justifications or just shrugged.

“OK, you at the back.” I pointed to the feathery headed boy, who maintained his slouched posture.

“Umm, I’m Louis. I chose this class because all the Science teachers hate me and would fail me on purpose if I stepped foot into their classrooms and History makes me want to throw myself off Niagara Falls. This was pretty much all that was left.”

Curious, I asked him about his experience with the Science department. To my surprise, a pretty girl who had previously introduced herself as Jade answered for him.

“Louis nearly burnt the labs down right before the Christmas holidays, Sir. He was just having a laugh.”

“Well good this we won’t be dealing with dangerous chemicals, only dangerous ideas. Now, lucky last, your turn.” I gestured to the boy with the curly hair.

“Urhmm, I’m Harry Styles. I guess I chose this class because my sense of right and wrong has always been different to other peoples. I thought maybe studying Philosophy would either confirm that I’m right, or that I’m wrong.”

He spoke slowly and carefully, but I could see that there was an intelligent sheen to his eyes. I immediately regretted putting him in the cocky confident archetype. Harry was smart, that much was obvious, and I felt an almost magnetic attraction to him, unlike anything described in my Quantum Physics text books. It was honestly quite disturbing.

“Well, that is the most interesting response I’ve gotten so far. I hope this class will give you some answers.”

Sliding off the desk, I walked around to the whiteboard and began to write:

The Three Big Questions

1\. How did I get here?

2\. Why am I here?

3\. What happens when I die?

“Feel free to copy that down if you are the type of learner who likes to have your notes on paper. If you think you can remember it without that, I want your eyes up here.” I sent a pointed glance at Louis, who was shamelessly flirting with the girls in the back, and waited until he gave me his attention. Harry seemed bored by his friend’s antics, and was instead staring at me. I could feel shivers up and down my back as our eyes met. There was something naïve about Harry that really got me and clashed awfully with his apparent role in the social ladder. The depths of his green eyes gave the impression that his mind was brimming with ideas, but had no outlet to express them. Freaked out at the amount I was reading into his character, I addressed the class as a whole.

“Ok, so Philosophy as a study looks at these three questions. Discovering the answer to these three questions, particularly the middle one, is considered the ultimate goal for any Philosopher. So far, not a single one has come up with a definitive conclusion for any of them. Sure, there are theories, some big enough to have an entire religion based on them, but they are as disputed as much they are supported. I truly believe, as a Philosophy nerd, that we will never find the answer to these questions. You may ask “what’s the point?” and it’s a fair question. Philosophy isn’t for everyone. It’s a study of the very ideas that our society is founded on and will always create more questions than answers.”

I stopped my introduction to the subject in order to gage the class’s reaction. Some were looking uncomfortable, others still looked half asleep. Niall and Liam look cautious and I could see that they had taken careful notes during me speech. After flashing a smile at them, I was draw by that same magnetic feeling towards Harry.

The boy was sitting on the edge of his seat, eyes wide and lips pressed tightly together. It was probably another skill that could be attributed to my time around academics, but I knew that there were two types of things that could be going on inside the brain behind a face like that. The first was that he was completely uninterested and was anticipating the next time he could justifiable take a break. This was common among professors and people writing their PhD, the kind that took more toilet breaks than the human body could possibly need. The other one was that he had absorbed the lecture already and had leapt ahead of his classmates, drawing together his own links and creating meaning for himself.

I was beyond sure that Harry belonged to the second category. The kid was brighter than any of his classmates. I figuratively started banging my head on the desk when I came to this realisation. I had always found intelligence to be an incredibly attractive trait (smart is sexy, ok?) but this was a student. I was used to getting this feeling for people older than me and I didn’t know how to deal with this sudden attraction to a student who had been in my class for less half an hour. Looking for a way to mask my internal discomfort, I continued on with the lesson.

“Now before you get too worried, we won’t be dealing with these big questions in this class. Keep them in the back of your mind for now, but focus on this terms unit. We will be looking at Ethics and Morality, in particular the theories of Jeremy Bentham and Immanuel Kant. For the rest of the lesson, I want you to write down anything you know about the topic. It could be details, if you decided to do some research over the summer, or it could just be your personal ideas on what “Ethics and Morality” mean to you as a person. I’ll hand out paper for you to use because I’m going to collect them at the end of the lesson.”

Grabbing a stack of A4, I walked over to the front row of desks. Niall’s face turned pink when I handed him his sheet, as did a few of the girls near the back. The principal did warn me about teacher crushes as I was the youngest on staff for a mile, but I shrugged it off, promising to remain professional. I realised that promise would be difficult to keep the moment a reached Harry’s desk. The boy was even more attractive up close (Christ, the kid had dimples!) and I felt like I had been tazed when his hands brushed past mine to take the paper from me. Turning away I tried to clear my mind before addressing the students in a shaky voice.

“You have thirty minutes, go!”

When the bell rang, I acquired a pile of paper with varying amounts of biro scrawl on each one. My students left the room in a rush, all except for Harry. He hung back, pretending to tie his laces, before moving up to my desk.

“Good lesson, Sir. I must say, I’m really looking forward to this term, Mr Malik.”

I gave a curt nod, before sprinting out the door, muttering something about a staff meeting I knew wasn’t scheduled until Friday.

***

Thankfully, my timetable only had classes on Monday, Thursday and Friday, so on Tuesday I drove to the university library and burrowed into an array of texts. Wednesday was passed similarly until evening fell and I decided I could no longer put off my class preparation. I reviewed the lesson plans for my two English classes and then turned to the ominous pile left by my year 12 Philosophy class. Most of the papers contained basic notes and common knowledge, although Liam’s looked like he had vomited out the first chapter of a text book. Louis’s contained hardly anything, as I had anticipated, and Niall’s was in a similar style to Liam’s.

Harry’s paper caught me off guard. The observations he had made about society’s influence on ethics and his statement on the way each generation inherits half its morality from the previous generation while creating the other half for itself was second-year University content. Once again, Harry natural flair for Philosophy shone through. I rocked my head back against the couch in the living room of my crappy little apartment and let out a sigh. This situation already felt out of control and it had only been one lesson! I was nervous about tomorrow’s class, not about being able to teach the material correctly or to keep them from rioting, but of seeing Harry Styles again.

Dating in school had been hard for me because of my nerdy reputation and the fact that I was always a fair few years younger than my classmates, even in the accelerated programs. However, when I started at university, I was able to experiment behind bookshelves and in student accommodation rooms enough to realise that females didn’t really do anything for me. I knew I was gay and I was surprisingly ok with that. But with my new found feelings for Harry, it suddenly became my worst enemy. If anyone caught even a whiff of the attraction I felt towards him, I would be framed as a predatory gay creep targeting innocent teenagers. It was in this mindset that I decided to put any unprofessional thoughts to the back of my mind and distance myself from my curly haired student.

***

“The first philosophical theory we will be studying is called Utilitarianism. Jeremy Bentham is considered to be the father of this branch of ethics, which is also known as Consequentialism. The basic idea is that when faced with a moral dilemma, the right choice is the one that causes the greatest amount of happiness. This is why it is called the Greatest Happiness Principal or the GHP. That part is important, copy copy copy!”

I stood in front of the class, delivering Thursday’s lesson as a lecture. They were positioned the same way as before, now all with notebooks in front of them. From the corner of my eye, I could tell that Louis’s pen had not touched the paper at all. My teacher instincts were crying out to reprimand him and remind him that a classroom was for learning, but I didn’t want to place my attention anywhere near Harry, so I let it slide.

“So let’s look at a hypothetical example here. Say I have £100 in my hand that I found behind my couch and I have two choices regarding what to spend it on. Option one is to go to the store and buy myself an iPod while option two is to host a pizza party for the entire class. Now if we apply the GHP we can see that more people would benefit if I bought pizza, therefore it is the morally correct thing to do. The reason this theory is sometimes referred to as Consequentialism is that it involves examining the consequences of both options, as well as evaluating them to reach an ultimate conclusion.”

I could sense movement in the back of the room and against my better judgement; I looked up to see Harry Styles with his hand in the air, a concerned look on his face.

“Yes, Harry,” I prompted, feeling that I would regret the decision. I was pleasantly surprised.

“Well Sir, isn’t this theory flawed? I mean, it’s all about choosing the theory that promotes the greatest amount of happiness, but wouldn’t the happiness you get from having an iPod that would last you at least a couple of years before you put it through the wash or whatever add up to more happiness than us lot gorging ourselves for quarter of an hour?”

Damn, the kid really was bright. I saw shock on the faces of his classmates; he evidently didn’t show this kind of thinking in other classes.

“Well done, I’m impressed! You’re right; it is flawed, as are the other branches you will learn about. It’s like I mentioned in our first lesson: you think you have found an answer, but then it goes and raises more questions, like how a lot of happiness for one person compares to a little happiness for numerous people. You have found one of the biggest criticisms of Utilitarianism in our first lesson studying it, saving me a lot of time. Now, different people who came after Bentham have different ways of responding to concerns like yours. If you are interested, I can point you in the right direction for further study if you hang back after class.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them, but it was too late. Now sporting a cheeky grin, Harry answered.

“Alright Sir, I’d be up for that.”

“Great.” Feeling the tension in the room, I quickly introduced the day’s activity.

“So partner up, threes if you must Monica, and use Utilitarianism and the GHP to discuss the morality of an issue you know lots about. It can be close to home, like the canteen’s junk food policy, or if you are the type of person who is a BBC news junkie, then maybe look at something more political like refugees. It’s important to link classroom learning to things that you care about in real life. That is why I like giving my classes some freedom. Don’t let me down!”

***

I dismissed the class and turned around to start writing notes on the whiteboard for my year 10s. A little cough behind me caught my attention and I once again faced the back wall, expecting to see Harry waiting for me. He was still in the room, once again making a show of tying his laces, but right in front of my desk was a blushing blonde.

“Niall, what can I do for you today?” I smiled at him, glad for an excuse to delay my interaction with Harry.

“O-o-oh, umm, I thanks for the great lesson. I know you are nervous, but you are a really good teacher.”

“That’s a lovely thing to say Niall. It means a lot. You’re right, I am pretty nervous, I mean this is only our second class, but I’m slowly building more confidence.”

A sharp cough turned Niall’s eyes wide and he retreated out the door, leaving a smirking Harry in his place.

“That wasn’t very charitable Mr Styles, I was talking to another student.” I was trying as hard as possible to keep my voice formal and aloof.

“Whatever, Mr Malik. What’s your first name anyway?”

“Zayn,” I let slip before I could help it. The whole professional thing wasn’t going well at all.

“Pretty name. Now where are these books and stuff, I am genuinely interested.”

That was how I found myself inside my tiny office in the admin building, rummaging through my briefcase to find the books I had promised. Harry was sitting on my desk, playing with my stress cushion, only looking up when I dropped the heavy texts beside him.

“That’ll be enough to get you started. However, if you are interested in further study, I recommend checking out the university library. Just say you are an A Level student of mine and they’ll let you browse for free. I’ll just write down some titles that look at different interpretations of Utilitarianism.”

The air felt thick as I neatly printed a list of books and authors on the back of a spare envelope. I glanced left to find Harry still sitting on my desk, staring at me with hungry eyes.

“I think you should kiss me.”

My heart skipped a beat as I responded with an ineloquent, spluttering “Wh-wha-at?”

“Well, I think you are fucking incredible as well as obscenely good looking and I see the way you act towards me in class. You find me attractive, I know it. So man up and kiss me.”

“That’s illegal Harry. You’re 17 and I’m 19, not to mention that I’m your teacher.”

“Utilitarianism, Zayn. Think about the Greatest Happiness Principle. Forget about everything except the consequences. There’s no way we can we caught, the door’s locked, so there are only two possible outcomes of the situation we are in now. Option one is that you kick me out now and start preparing for your next class. Option two is that you kiss me. Now let’s think about which option would generate the greatest amount of happiness, shall we?”

My throat became dry as Harry continued to speak in a mocking tone, one eyebrow raised and body pressed uncomfortably close to my own.

“So Zayn, option one would leave us both frustrated for the rest of the day and lead to cold showers after we both get home. That doesn’t sound like it would me very much fun. Option two means we get to kiss like we both really want to, relieving some of the tension between us and paves the way for even more… relief… at a later date.”

“Harry,” I murmured, pressing my forehead to his out of impulse. “I don’t think the curriculum was designed for this.”

“Come on, Zayn,” he whispered, looking up at me with those luminous eyes. “All the best teachers practice what they preach.”

It was at those words that I pressed my lips to his, just as he wrapped his legs around my waist. We stayed that way until the bell for middle period rang.

***

Friday’s lesson was on me faster than I had predicted. I couldn’t sleep the previous night out of guilt from my lunchtime snog with Harry. Although he was only two years younger and possessed equal (if not more) experience than me, I still felt like I had violated him. It was so wrong, breaking all the rules of student/teacher conduct, but at the same time it was so good. Although we hadn’t progressed any further than a kiss, I knew I wanted to. It was for that reason I decided to ignore any advances he made.

“You can put your books away, class. It is last period on Friday, so I thought we should just have a big class discussion. I want to talk about one of the most pressing ethical issues of our generation. It will affect all of you, some a lot more directly than others I suppose. I speak of same-sex marriage.”

My words sent a ripple of murmurs through the class, but I quickly regained control.

“Now, for this discussion, let’s forget the political side of situation and just focus on the legalisation itself. Imagine that you are faced with a switch. If you flick in to the right, we will keep the status quo, but if you flick to the left then same-sex couples will be able to marry. I would like you to leave your personal beliefs in a box for a while and look at this through the eyes of Utilitarianism. Anyone want to start off the discussion?”

Niall’s hand shot up in the air immediately and I nodded for him to speak.

“Well Mr Malik, imagine the happiness generated by heaps of gay couples getting married. It would be amazing. I mean, one in ten people have a same-sex leaning, so that a lot of people who be granted equal rights.”

“Is it ok if I butt in, Sir?” Liam enquired. I smiled in affirmation. “Adding on to what Niall says, it’s not just gays, lesbians and bisexuals who would gain happiness, but their friends too. All a straight person who has gay friends wants is for them to be treated the same. Besides, everyone loves a wedding.” Liam wrapped his arm around Niall’s chair, receiving a thankful look from his friend.

I realised that Niall was probably gay and that he confided in Liam. The boy was lucky to have supportive friends, I thought.

“Can I play devil’s advocate for a second?” A girl with peroxide blonde hair spoke up from near the back.

“Go ahead, Perrie.”

“Ok, so, like, sure gay people would like to get hitched and all, but it would piss heaps of people off, like church people and stuff. They would be made unhappy by it, wouldn’t they?”

“Yes Perrie, love,” Harry suddenly decided to make his voice heard. “But love is worth more than hate. Having positive feelings would spread though the hetero community too, making everyone a bit more optimistic. But the negative, bigoted vibes from conservatives would only make everyone else equally gloomy. Ultimately, legalising same-sex marriage would create more happiness then keeping it banned.”

“Are you gay, Mr Malik?” Louis drawled, leaning back on his chair.

“Louis!” Perrie sounded scandalised. “You can’t just ask someone if they’re gay!”

I laughed. “It’s ok Perrie, I don’t mind. Yes, I am gay. Is that going to be an issue for you, Louis?”

“Nah, I’m all good, Sir. Just so long as you don’t go hitting on me.”

“You are in no danger on that Louis. I’m your teacher, it wouldn’t be proper.”

I could see Harry rolling his eyes, so I decided to change the subject.

“Who has another social issue they would like to discuss from a Utilitarian perspective?”

***

The rest of the class had already left to make a start on their weekend, leaving me alone in the classroom with Harry. He approached my desk with a coy smile and reached out to take my hand. I knew I had to end this before either of us got more attached, so I opened my mouth to deliver a sharp spiel.

“Look Harry, yesterday was a one off and a mistake. It’s not happening again, I’m sorry.” I swept out of the room, quickly glancing back as I stepped through the doorframe. It was just for a second, but I did manage to get a good look at Harry. His face didn’t look like a teenage boy who had just lost an opportunity for an illicit shag, he looked like a boy who was suffering from a broken heart

***

I kept myself occupied that weekend by visiting my family. They were happy to see me, although still confused as to why I chose teaching. I couldn’t give them an answer. During Monday’s lesson I put on a documentary about Jeremy Bentham. The room was dark enough so that I couldn’t see Harry, allowing me to relax and mark the practise essays completed by my year 10s. I left the room before the class had a chance to pack their bags, feeling proud that I had delayed another meeting with Harry until Thursday.

Unfortunately, it didn’t work out that way. On Tuesday, I was studying the Ethics of Ancient China in the university library, when a familiar voice interrupted me.

“The lady at the desk thing said you were in the Philosophy row, although she didn’t really need to tell me that, did she? I know Philosphy is your great love.”

Harry was now sitting next to me at the bench than ran below the towering shelves. He was out of uniform, in tight jeans, converse and a band tee. I was furious.

“Harry, when I recommended you come here, I meant in your own time. You have class!”

“Please, my Physics teacher is sick and we have a study period today. The only classes I’m missing are English and History, both of which I can ace with only a quick glance though the content the night before the exam.” Seeing my sceptical look, he rushed to justify himself. “What? I am smart, ok? Maybe I shouldn’t be reminding you of that though. You think intelligence is sexy, don’t you Zayn?”

I started to feel desperate. This was so wrong. “Please Harry, don’t do this.”

“I’m not going to try and jump you, I swear. I’m here to learn.”

To my surprise, he actually was. We spent the entire day reading and discussing theories together, sharing a sneaky sandwich under the desk for lunch. When the librarian eventually told us it was closing time, Harry started to walk towards the bus stop, before turning back.

“Same time tomorrow, Zayn?”

“I don’t like the idea of you skipping class, but I will be here.”

“It’s a date then.” His eyes twinkled as he once again turned to wait for the bus. Slipping into my car, I rested my head against the steering wheel. It was wrong, I knew that. It was so terribly wrong, but my day in the library with Harry self so damn right, that I couldn’t wait for tomorrow. As I drove home, I told myself that it was innocent; two bright young men learning together, nothing wrong with that. It was innocent.

For now.

***

“I think Kant is a bit of a douche, to be honest. His ideal world would be no fun at all. I mean, the thingy about Universalizability is decent I suppose, although it is so subjective.”

“Yes, but he has a point. Sometimes you have to stop yourself from doing what you want because it is the right thing to do.”

“Ah I get it, do you mean like how you want to bend me over this desk right now and take me, but your old fashion sensibilities stop you from doing so?”

“Oh, Harry, you’ve been so good. Why do you have to ruin it all now?”

It was true. We had spent another day reading together and engaging in the kind of conversations I had only been able to have with my favourite professors. There was something borderline magical about Harry’s face when he understood a new theory or made a breakthrough with a text he was studying. I had only known him for a week or so, but already I was falling hard. It was as if we had spent the last two days on a super nerdy date and, in Harry’s mind, I suppose it was.

We were walking out of the library together when the sky broke and rain began to pour. Harry glanced at the bench next to the bus stop with miserable eyes. It was too much.

“I can’t let you catch the bus in this weather. I’ll drive you.” I saw Harry’s eyes light up. “No funny business though.”

“I’ll be on my best behaviour.”

Rolling my eyes, I unlocked my car as Harry climbed into the passenger side. Shoving our now damp coats in the back, I turned the heating on and pulled out of the carpark while Harry provided instructions on the quickest route to his place. Our conversation on the way moved from academics to music. I was surprised to find that Harry liked soft indie rock, although nowhere near as surprised as he was to find out about my love for R n B.

“It just doesn’t seem to go with the whole Philosphy-geek image you’ve got going,” he commented.

Talk of musicians and festivals found us in Harry’s street just as the rain began to ease.

“Well, I guess I will see you tomorrow. Try and get Louis to pay attention to me this time and stop him from looking though the girls’ blouses. He’s not going to be tested on the colours of Perrie and Jade’s bras.” I joked, attempting to break the tension that had once again formed, but Harry’s eyes had slid to his lap.

“Look Zayn, I know you think I’m a cheeky kid trying to get into your pants because I have a teacher kink, but it’s not like that at all. My jokes are me trying to convince myself that I’m just attracted to those in positions of authority, but I can’t deny the truth anymore. I like you as Zayn the nerdy, R n B fan, not as Mr Malik. I love that we can talk about Philosophy together for hours, hell, days even. I want you, in a romantic sense, not just a sexual one.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I feel the same.”

All of a sudden, my lap was filled with a shaking Harry, his trembling fingers tracing my jawline as he kissed me. After a few minutes, it was obvious we both wanted things to go further, but he pulled away, looking resigned.

“I guess I will see you tomorrow, Zayn.” I couldn’t help but notice his eyes watering before he climbed out of the car and started down his garden path.

***

“Today we are going to be looking at a new ethical theory. It is known as Deontology, Duty Ethics or Kantian Logic, because it’s main advocate was the German philosopher Immanuel Kant. Now, Kant states that when we are faced with a moral dilemma, we should choose the option that suppresses our inclinations and performs our obligations. Now what is an inclination? Yes, Niall?”

“An inclination is what one wants to do.”

“Very good. What about obligation? Liam, this time then.”

“In the context of this branch of Philosophy, an obligation refers to what we are required to do or what we know we should do although we don’t want to.”

“Excellent! So in Kant’s mind, we shouldn’t do what we want to do and we should do what we don’t want to do but know we have a duty to do. That is why it is called Duty Ethics. So how do we determine what is what? An inclination is what our first reaction is to do. It is our most basic, primal desire. If someone puts a chocolate cake in front of me, my inclination is to eat it, because I love cake. Pretty simple stuff, guys. Where it gets more complex is when we start to look at obligations. The first type of obligations are the agreements we make or fall under. For example, we all have an obligation to make this school look good, because you and your parents signed a form saying you would follow the school rules. I did that too, but for the Department of Education, promising to act appropriately and professionally at all times.” From the corner of my eye, I could see Harry trying desperately not to burst out laughing. “The second type of obligations are decided by a clever little thing called the Principle of Universalizability. It is a bit of a mouthful, but does anyone know what it means?”

I had gone over this already with Harry, so it came as no surprise when his hand was lifted up.

“Harry? Have you been doing some extra reading?”

He grinned. “Something like that, Sir. The Principle of Universalizability or the POU is a more formal way of saying “treat others like you want to be treated”. Basically, you need to ask yourself “Would I want to live in a world where everyone acts like how I am considering acting?” If the answer is yes, then it is an obligation and you should do it. If the answer is no, but you want to do it anyway then it is an inclination.”

“Well explained. So it might have a name with a ridiculous amount of syllables, but it isn’t that hard to wrap your head around. It’s kind of common sense. Kant believes that of you suppress your inclinations and fulfil your obligation, you are acting morally. If you ignore your obligations in favour of acting on your inclinations, then you are being immoral. However, this is the interesting one, if your inclination is the same as your obligation, then you are acting amorally. That means you are essentially neutral, because the two factors cancel each other out. Now who has a real world example for me?”

***

“I don’t like Deontology,” Harry announced as he entered my office door that lunch break.

“You made that very clear yesterday, but why bring it up now?”

“Because it is very hard to justify doing this,” he explained as he kissed me.

I decided against chastising him for being affectionate on school property because the likely hood of anyone bothering to come to my office during was very low.

“True, we are succumbing to our desires and inclinations, aren’t we?”

I ran my thumb over Harry’s lips before pressing a sweet peck to them.

“Why does something that feels so amazing have to be banned?” His voice was full of sorrow as he let himself be held in my arms.

“I don’t know, baby. I don’t know.”

I kissed him again, this time more passionate and heated, pushing him gently against the wall. We stayed like that, lost in each other, until a cheerful voice wafted through the doorway.

“Mr Malik, Mr Higgins wants your help wi… oh shit!”

Harry and I leapt apart to see Niall with a look of shock painted on his face. Letting out a moan, Harry sunk to the floor while I addressed my other student.

“Niall, that wasn’t…”

“Oh, save it, Sir,” he interjected. “I know what I saw.” Turning on his heel, he sprinted out the door and down the hall. I followed him, before losing sight. Feeling frantic, I ran all around the school until I found him in an empty classroom, just before class resumed. He was sobbing, with his hands pressed to his face, and as much as I wanted to comfort him, I had to find out what he was going to do.

“Niall, are you going to tell?”

“Oh, God, I wasn’t sure. Can I talk you through my thought process?” he asked, sounding almost painfully geeky. Niall truly was a methodical soul. I nodded and crouched beside him, hoping for the best.

“I like having rules and guidelines, it comforts me, so I decided to look at the theories you taught us, because this is a moral dilemma for me. So first I looked at Deontology. My inclination is to tell. I’m so sorry, but it is. Seeing you with Harry made me so mad, I wanted to tell the Principal straight away. But then I realised that it is also my obligation. I have a duty to report rule breaking. If I look at the Principle of Universalizability, I would like to live in a world where all rule breaking was dealt with, so it becomes even more obvious that I have a duty to report you snogging Harry. But because my inclination and obligation overlap, it would make my decision amoral and it’s not fair for me to be on the fence like that. So, I turned to Utilitarianism and the GHP. If I was to dob you in, it would cause so much pain and angst for you, your families and the school. But you to being together, even if it is in secret, makes you both so happy. We need more caring relationships in the world, Sir. For those reasons, I decided in the 10 minutes I waited for you to find me, that I will keep your secret. I won’t even tell Liam.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Niall.”

“It’s the only moral course of action, Mr Malik,” he said in a sincere yet humorous tone. “I’m going to go, or else I’ll be late for Biology.”

Leaning against the wall, I knew I had a big decision to make. Pulling out my phone, I dialled my old University.

***

“You’re leaving?” Liam spoke for the rest of the class when he questioned me the next lesson.

“I have really enjoyed my time here, but I have an opportunity to start my PhD and it’s too good to turn down. I’m sorry.”

The class looked shocked, no one more so than Harry, whom I hadn’t been able to speak to since Niall busted us.

“My replacement is a lovely woman called Miss Peazer. I’ve met her at conferences and she is more than competent to guide you through your A Levels.”

Before I knew it, the lesson was over and the class filed out, wishing me goodbye and good luck. Harry once again was crouched down, faking tying his laces. Once the room was empty save the two of us, he walked forward and tucked himself into my chest.

“So Niall is keeping his mouth shut, but you’re leaving anyway?” he murmured.

“Yeah, Harry. I like learning more than teaching anyway and this means I can start to date you properly.”

“I suppose being in a relationship with a uni student is less dodgy than being in a relationship with my teacher, isn’t it?”

“Do you want to? Be in a relationship, I mean. With me.”

“Yes, Zayn, I do and I don’t need some 18th century Philosopher to tell me so.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. Feedback is amazing here or on my tumblr - adventuresin1derland.tumblr.com


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